Retrospective

Calendula or Pot Marigold, growing around the chicken pen.

I don't know if it's winter doing it to me, the hard work, or our financial security changing - frankly, it could be all three. But I've gone a bit mellow and retrospective of late. It's like you dig your heels in to fight the next challenge in life, then everything you come to depend on falls away.

Suddenly you're a helpless child again, feeling vulnerable and naive that you didn't see it coming.

Well if my mum taught me anything important, it's that you kick hard once you touch the bottom again. It gives you thrust to tackle your circumstances, no matter how difficult. If you're worried about job security, a mortgage or paying bills, well you should be so lucky to have anything to stand losing.

Those who have nothing, have nothing further to lose.

It's weird because everything seems to be going wrong at the moment. I've been sick, it's cold (with winter and all) my husband's on casual rates and his job situation precarious. I don't know how we're going to pay the bills - will we have enough to go around? Oh yeah, and did I mention my car wouldn't start the other day and Dave's car is making strange noises.

Retrospectively however, we're fortunate to have two cars in the first place and a means to generate income. The RACQ guy told me to get a new battery for my car - sure it's more money at a time we don't need, but at least it's a feasible expense in the scheme of things.

Things can get worse and things can get better. Don't we like to shout it from the rooftop when we hit the jackpot. Well I want to shout from the rooftop that I feel alive, even when the chips are down. In fact I feel especially alive when the chips are down, because that's when you need to kick to the top again.

Don't feel the least bit sorry for our situation. Cheer us on, run with us and feel alive too!