Monday, November 22, 2021

A big chapter closes

The day begins


Well hello again. I sat down to a lovely salad and coffee, for breakfast this morning. I've been wanting to sit down and write this post for about a month now. I guess the words don't come easy, for one of the hardest things I've ever had to share. I'll do my best though.

Around this time last year, I wrote about our dilemma of deciding, whether to invest in my husband's deceased family estate, or sell his share, and invest it in our property. I was optimistic, whatever happened, I would potter around in my garden, as usual. Where ever that ended up being.

I was looking forward to updating you all, on the decision we finally arrived at together. However, I was later to discover, that decision was made without me.


18 October 2021


It all happened, with the last hail storm. About a month ago, we experienced the first severe hail storm, in our 14 years living here. Fortunately, there wasn't too much damage. At least, to the property. I was about to have a bombshell dropped on me though, when my partner of 23 years came home and announced he was leaving. 

If you're shocked, that was my reaction too. I didn't fully understand at the time, why this was the case. As we had endured ups and downs in our relationship before, and always come out the other end, stronger. However, I later discovered, there was a third-party involved. 


Day after the storm ~ assessing the mess


It's been a whirlwind since, putting my life back together. The hardest part was having to lay to rest, an identity I nurtured for 23 years. Everything I ever thought was my future, suddenly died. I'm still coming to terms with that. Taking one day, at a time. 

I'm learning to focus on my life, in new ways. Not in a needs-must, act of survival. More of being gentle and kind with the process, of realising who I am again. Because understandably, my self-esteem took a big hit, and there's reluctance to put yourself on the line again. Even when it comes to believing in your dreams again. 

Which leads me to why I'm sharing. What is going to happen to the property?


The Gully competely flooded ~ first time in 3 years


I wish I had a definitive answer. For now, my son and I are going to live here, and finish off the school year. Which is only 3 more weeks of. There are school holidays to plan for too. My mother is selling her property, and will be moving in with us as soon as she can. Which will help immensely.

After that, I cannot say. There may be an option to buy the property, and maintain it myself. Or maybe reality plays out a different option. We'll definitely see the end of 2021 here though, and beginning of 2022. More to come. 


Everything is green again


Just know, as this big chapter closes on my life, there is a reason and purpose for every season. Renewal is waiting to emerge somewhere down the line, because of it. Doesn't it always come back to a garden though? 

Thanks for all your support over the years, my long time readers. Also to those new arrivals, who just found my blog. Don't let my recent news, set you back from pursuing your own dreams of becoming a land steward. It's still a very worthwhile pursuit, which you won't regret making. I certainly don't regret it, and still have much more to share about my journey in that regard.

Until next time though, may your soil always be fertile and covered with something good.


9 comments:

  1. I am thinking of you in this time of adjustment, change and discovery. Your blog, and the life you shared through it, provided such a lifeline, and friendship during my own life transition into widowhood. I am forever grateful to you. Sending you much love and encouragement.
    Patricia/USA

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  2. Why does it seam so easy for the man to walk away? mine did many years ago, but you are strong and will make your life as good as you can. I love your post, your views, how you manage the land in them many long droughts. Please stay here so we can support you from afar. Marlene/UK

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  3. Big hugs, Chris 🤗 It will take time to sort out your plans I am sure. The shock will take some time to wear off. Although now on her own for a different reason, Disney from Ruffles and Stuff is going through the same issues over in the US. I often think about and pray for both you girls during this difficult transition.

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  4. So sorry to hear your news Chris.

    I wish you all the best as you move on and find your way and self worth again. Be gentle on yourself. I can only imagine how shocked you would have been. And just like that, it is over and you are left wondering...it seems to happen a lot these days.

    If I lived closer I would give you an enormous hug. I sit here thinking about you and your family and what lies ahead for you all. So glad your mum is able to come and stay with you for the time being.

    I hope you keep writing about your life's journey. I have learned so much from you since finding your blog. Thank you for all you share.

    Much love and thoughts,
    Tania xxx

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  5. Oh Chris, I am so, so sorry to hear this. I experienced the exact same thing when my kids were small. It took a long time and a lot of healing, but eventually I came out the other side. You will too. The thing that helped me most was learning how to truly forgive.

    It's good your mother can come. Family is always important. Sounds like you don't have to make any immediate decisions, which is a very good thing. It will give you time to take stock and think through options. As always, you have my prayers.

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  6. I've been waiting for this post as you know, but it was still hard to finally read. My thoughts are with you. I'm glad you're going to have your Mum with you; that will be a big help, especially emotionally. I'm hoping you can find a way to keep the property, as you've put so much of your life into it. I've enjoyed your thoughtful posts and the way you handle problems and learned a lot about management of my own bush block. Please keep writing....about your plants and your artwork and let us know how you are. With love.

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  7. Dear Chris, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. At the moment I just don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. But I do want you to know that you have a big community on here who love and care for you. It's a really shitty time for you, there's no nice way to say it, and I hope you continue to find the strength to move towards a new and positive future. I'll always look forward to your news so when you find the time and headspace, please stay in touch and let us know how you're getting on. XX Sally

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  8. Hello, Chris. I ditto all that's been said in the comments above and send my love and caring thoughts to you out there at Gully Grove. I feel, from reading here, that you are resourceful and creative and considered in how you approach things. I think those traits will help a lot as you move forward in life. Take care and be gentle with yourself as you take your next steps.
    MegXx

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  9. Oh Chris. I'm so sorry. What a terrible shock it must have been. This will take time to work itself out to your new normal. Seasons of life and all that. Please do go gently during this massive life transition. Take the time to look after yourself and make sure you show yourself grace while you grieve. It's ok to let things go for as long as you need too. Im so glad Mum is coming to live with you, what a comfort that will be for both of you.

    Sending love across the miles,
    xxxx

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