Thursday, September 1, 2011

New season with old memories


Garden progress 2010

Welcome to Spring 2011...it was this season last year, I remember sharing pictures about our garden and how well it was coming along. Then in December I had to duck out between bouts of rain to get pictures of the vegetable patch. There were more rainy days than there were dry. Which was a first for us, since the previous 3 years saw us through the last of the drought. Only no-one knew it was going to be the end, until the floods came in January. Things changed a lot after the floods.

Winter here is traditionally without rain, so I knew I wouldn't have to worry about floods then. And we certainly wouldn't have generated the heat for thunderstorms. That changed recently and we've experienced a few storms again. It brought up a lot of memories and anxiety from last January. But it's not even heavy rain yet, just a few days where it didn't stop. Then a crack of thunder woke me in the wee hours of the morning and I couldn't go back to sleep.



Ponds are filling again and still working on the swales

I feel like a worry wart and silly for freaking out - yet I know it's a natural response too. I knew this new growing season would bring with it mixed emotions. Part the joy of experiencing the warmth again and watching plants grow, the other, fear of the unknown and concern if we'd done enough remedial works to protect the front retaining wall from washing out again?

It's something only time will remedy - I'll have to experience a few more storms to work it through my system. It's a hard process, sometimes I struggle to talk myself down and I can feel the effects for days afterwards - I find it difficult to sleep because my brain is constantly ticking over. I've received the counselling required to get me through this process, but it's not an easy journey.



January 2011

So I thought to mark the transition in a positive way, I'd give an update of "Bluey" our pineapple! After the floods, I remember being surprised by the appearance of a pineapple fruit. It was a wonderful sign that life continues after destruction. And now Bluey is almost ready to be picked!



September 2011

We called him Bluey, because compared to our other pineapples, it's leaves had a slight blue sheen. I still haven't gotten around to propagating that sucker, but I will when the days start to heat up again. There have been a few warm days and even the nights see us kicking off the blankets again. It won't be long until the heater can be stored in the cupboard.

So there's much to look forward to and much to overcome, but then isn't that what makes life interesting? I hope your season transitions, are bringing a positive sense of achievement too.

6 comments:

  1. Chris, I'm glad that you are being patient with yourself during your healing process. I think you are right about exposure to our fear being a part of the cure in this case. I want you to know that I have worked through phobias successfully just doing what you are doing. Theres a light there at the end of tunnel. Keep moving forward:)
    Pineapples are trully gorgeous, are they not?
    I wish you a blessed summer of productivity

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  2. Thanks for the encouragement by sharing your own experience, it's something you do have to work through and each time feels a little easier.

    It's funny the stuff it throws up though. One minute you're calmly preparing yourself, the next you're in hypersensitive mode - I had to take a step back for a minute and say, "hang on, it's just rain." There was a time in my life when rain was a wonderful thing.

    It still is - rain brings life and every year it comes, it brings our garden to life too.

    I'm really hoping for some warm days ahead, as we have some wonderful plans for the garden. Nothing grand, it starts with a seed or a seedling, then you truly have to wait for nature to surprise you.

    Like Bluey, our pineapple. It started with a top, turned into a plant then it fruited. The more I watch nature the more I want to watch nature unfold again.

    Maybe not the thunderstorms so much, LOL, but definitely what comes after the storm. :)

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  3. Its not easy having to deal with something that is basically ordinary but seeing it as a potential threat.
    Phobias are hard because you do get that sudden gut feeling of fear out of nowhere even if nothing happened to trigger it. My phobia was airplanes. I never had a bad experience. In fact, I had aspired to be a pilot and flew a single engine plane-loving it the whole time. But something happened after that.
    I began to fear flying like crazy and dream about plane crashes.
    The only solution was to fly as often as possible but to also be educated as to what was going on. I was lucky in that I sat next to a pilot one day on a flight. He talked me through the entire flight. He showed me how to listen into the cockpit. This gave me a sense of control.

    Your home is secure now, is it not? That is a sense of control. You have water stored? You have food? Medical supplies? These things can help a lot.
    But mostly, because I do fear tornadoes, I try to learn alot about them. That helps me alot too.
    You'll be alright. It will take time and self love but you will be okay in the end.

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  4. Tornadoes never, ever frightened me even though I had seen plenty of destruction on tv and in person. But, when I can look two blocks over and most of the houses are gone, AND were were without electricity for so long, I am wary. I am not afraid, just tensed over what could happen. I don't fear dying or losing my home. I fear no electricity and have lost a lifelong sense of security that I have maintained in an area with two tornado seasons each year and the distinction of being the place where most of the F5 (worst) tornadoes hit on the earth.

    I don't really know what happened in your case, but I do understand the sense of discomfort.

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  5. Hi LindaM, you had to pick my other phobia, LOL. Yes, I'm petrified of planes too. It's good to have confronted your fear. I would if I had a need for air travel, like if I had relatives overseas (like you) or we needed to travel by air for work obligations.

    I'll stick to my land phobias for now, LOL, and thankfully I don't have many. But you're right, to have knowledge is a better focus than just panicking.

    We've done a lot of work on trenches above the house, but they're not finished completely. While there's more to do we're confident we've made a big difference already. :)

    I hope your tornado season passes by without any damage - or has it just ended?

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  6. Hi Linda, with destructive elements in your area, I suppose you'd be very familiar with the sense of displacement. Even that gas leak the other day, it makes you realise there are occasions where we just have to drop things and go.

    I'm looking at this process as a way of practicing disconnection with transient things. My home is a place I work hard to build up, but at the end of the day, I'd be happy with my family in-tact and knowing the chickens are safe, LOL.

    But it's still nice to know you may have a home to return to, if it's possible. :)

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